Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Before you give up on breastfeeding - read this...

"I really wanted to breastfeed, but I wasn't able to..."

This is a statement you hear all too often. Sadly, many of the reasons women believe they can't breastfeed are steeped in misinformation and decisions are often hastily made in a fug of tiredness and stress.

So, here are some of the reasons women give up on breastfeeding - accompanied by some, hopefully, useful information to help ensure the decision is what they really want.

There is a lot of reference to 'the latch' and further explanation can be found below this list.

Little B's first feed and plenty of skin to skin straight after the birth
  1. "My milk never came in." It can actually take up to ten days for the milk to come in, but before this, baby is still getting very calorie-rich colostrum. The more baby suckles and the more skin-to-skin contact you have with your newborn, the better chance the milk has to actually come in.
  2. "My baby was losing too much weight." Babies do lose weight in the first few days. But the colostrum and then the milk you produce is actually more calorie-rich than formula. Rather than reaching straight for the bottle, try and increase feeding sessions. Again - more skin to skin and suckling will prompt more feeding and supply. You should also get your baby's latch checked as sometimes poor weight gain is linked to a poor latch.
  3. "I couldn't produce enough." The amount baby is able to get from the breast is vastly different to what you may be able to express. So as long as baby is producing plenty of wet and dirty nappies, you can be confident that baby is getting enough. And the more baby feeds (especially at night), the more you'll produce. Again, get your latch checked. Sometimes a poor latch will mean that baby is not stimulating enough of the milk producing parts of the breast and a simple adjustment will increase supply.
  4. "My baby was constantly feeding."The more baby feeds, the more milk your body will produce. That's why optimum feeding depends on responding to baby's demand rather than going by timings (eg every 4 hours). Babies will often 'cluster feed' in the evening as they put in their order for the next day's milk. They will often feed a lot at night as this is when the milk producing hormone prolactin is at its highest in the mother. Babies also go through a number of growth spurts, which makes them feed or suckle more frequently and for longer to boost supply. It won't last forever. It is in the first 4-6 weeks that baby is stimulating all the milk-producing parts of the breast and once their all operating at full capacity, your body will find it much easier to respond to baby's demand without them having to feed so often. Your baby's stomach, which starts life the size of a walnut, will also have expanded to take on more milk and so the time between feeds will stretch out. Stick with it and you'll reap the benefits.
  5. "I wanted my baby to sleep through the night."Formula does not guarantee that baby will sleep for longer. And in the early days, it is preferable for baby to wake more often as deeper, longer sleep cycles have been linked to SIDS. The best you can do is actively differentiate between night and day and your baby will catch on when it is ready.
  6. "My baby wouldn't latch on/wasn't interested/wouldn't take the breast". Breastfeeding is a dance that needs to be learnt by both mother and baby and each pairing is different. Some babies latch straight on. Others take a little longer to get the hang of things. It can be frustrating, so seek help and persevere. Spend lots of time skin to skin with baby and offer the breast frequently. An afternoon snuggled up in bed naked with your newborn close to your chest will often do the trick. Watch for feeding cues such as rooting or chewing on fists rather than waiting for the hunger cry and gently tease baby's lips with your nipple and stroke along the jaw bone to encourage baby to latch on. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help - not just from your midwife or health visitor, but from La Leche League, your local breastfeeding support group or a lactation consultant.
  7. "Feeding was too painful."While you and your baby are learning to work together in feeding, sometimes you may experience pain. You may also be suffering from after-pains as your womb contracts down after the birth. Most of the time, the feeding pain is down to your body getting used to the milk let down or your baby not quite having the right latch. A simple readjustment can make a massive difference. You may also want to try a topical nipple cream to ease soreness. Or you could try stuffing a savoy cabbage leaf down your bra - the smell's not great, but it has amazing soothing properties! It might also be worth getting baby checked for 'tongue tie' which can inhibit feeding and cause a painful latch. It is easily remedied by a medical professional.
  8. "My partner/husband wanted to be involved in feeding the baby." Once feeding is established (after around 4-6 weeks), there's nothing to stop you from expressing and allowing your other half to bottle feed breastmilk. There are also many other ways fathers can bond with their babies - bath time, nappy changing, cuddling etc are also very special times where baby can get to know dad.
  9. "I couldn't leave the house because I was too embarrassed to feed in public." Sadly, today's society often equates breasts to sex, which can make feeding baby an uncomfortable prospect. However, there are many ways you can feed privately and without attracting any attention while out and about. For the first time, why not find a buddy to come with you to give moral support. To prevent any excess flesh being flashed, wear a vest top underneath your normal top (lift the top layer and drop the vest top and you only reveal the part of the breast that goes in baby's mouth. Wearing a scarf, drapy cardigan or sling/wrap baby carrier can provide further cover and isn't as 'obvious' as a muslin or purpose-bought breastfeeding cover. The law is actually on your side and it can be helpful to know that the Equality Act 2010 means it is unlawful for you to be discriminated against because you are breastfeeding. According to Maternity Action, this means 'service providers must not discriminate, harass, or victimise a woman because she is breastfeeding. Discrimination includes refusing to provide a service, providing a lower standard of service or providing a service on different terms. Therefore, a cafe owner cannot ask you to stop feeding or refuse to serve you.'
  10. "Friends/Family said it was disgusting." Other people's opinions can be hard to deal with - especially if they are people whose thoughts you would usually respect or listen to. Think about what is best for you and your baby and respond to their comments with facts about the benefits of breastfeeding (reduced risk of infection, illness, allergies, SIDS, cancer and diabetes in later life, obesity, its cheaper than formula etc). And remember - they are just opinions and they will have opinions on all aspects of parenting, not just feeding - many of which you will be happy to ignore.   
Getting a good latch
To ensure you have the best latch ensure the baby's spine is in line with you, put baby's nose to your nipple and ensure baby takes a big mouthful, not just of the nipple, but plenty of the areola (the dark bit round the nipple) too. When you are holding baby, support the back and hips, but leave baby free to move his/her head.

Signs of a good latch
You will know you baby has a good latch if:
  • Baby's lips are curled out
  • If you can see any of the areola, it's above the top lip, rather than below the bottom lip
  • Baby is making regular swallowing movements/noises
  • Baby's cheeks are full and rounded
  • Baby's chin is touching your breast
Little B trying to demonstrate a good latch

Obviously, the way you choose to feed your child is your decision. But before deciding to go down the formula route, at least be aware of the facts and ensure you are making a really informed decision and be aware of the wealth of help and resources available.

Useful resources:

Monday, 11 June 2012

Days Out In Devon #1 World of Country Life, Exmouth

Given that I am lucky enough to live in a tourist hot spot, I thought it might be useful to outline some things to do in the region for those with small children.

Recently, we found ourselves in Exmouth. Having visited my elderly grandparents for an hour, I wanted to treat E and B for the rest of the day so we went to the World of Country Life.

The attraction includes animals, a deer safari (which we didn't have time for), a museum, and lots of play areas.

The first thing you get to is the undercover museum hall, which includes lots of old farm machinery and steam engines (not just rail). E has shown a great interest in trains recently and we had just been reading a book about the history of rail, so he was fascinated to see the steam engines and what made them work.

We then wandered into the Victorian street and I enjoyed showing both children how many toys in the Victorian toy shop were similar to today (pram, bike, scooter, toy cars, dolls). We had a little chat about the differences in toys between then and now.

However, the sun was shining and, having already spent a good part of the morning inside with historic artefacts (sorry Meme and Grandpa), we were all keen to get outside and enjoy our picnic lunch.

The World of Country Life is ideal for picnics with plenty of tables outside (and under cover). Unlike many attractions, you really don't feel obliged to buy overpriced food from the actual venue. During the picnic, we looked around at the outside play area and soon E and B ran off to enjoy the climbing frames, slides, swings, roundabouts and assault course. There were also some trampolines, but strangely neither of my two were particularly fussed about going on them.

After about half an hour of letting off steam outside, we decided to go and look in the animal paddocks. I was slightly disappointed by the range of animals. The name World of Country Life suggests a variety of farm animals, rare breeds, and wild animals but we only really saw Guinea pigs, ducks, goats, pigs, sheep and rabbits. I believe there are other fields containing larger animals, but we didn't get that far.

We then went into a petting paddock where the children were encouraged to go into the enclosure with the goats and pet them. Both E and B were a little nervous, but Elliot picked up enough courage to stroke and even feed a goat.

We then had a quick look at some of the birds of prey before the children wanted to play again. This time, rain appeared to be threatening, so we went to a big shed which housed a huge Pirate Ship and both E and B had enormous fun exploring, clambering and running around.

E and B on the Pirate Ship Gang Plank

I eventually managed to persuade them to move onto something else by promising them the soft play areas and bouncy castle. These are also undercover, which makes the World of Country Life ideal for a wet day.

B had a brilliant time in the ball pool and slide while Elliot discovered the racing track (which costs extra - £1 per ride in a car) and tried his luck as an F1 driver.

We then moved into a smaller children's play area with lots of ride on toys and a bouncy castle.

B pushing a toy in the smaller children's play area

E enjoying the Country Life on his tractor and B enjoying the other ride-on toys

Throughout the day, there are various activities, which we didn't take advantage of because we were having too much fun just playing. These include a birds of prey display and feeding times and shows such as ferret racing.

We also missed out on the Deer Safari (which I also think costs extra) due to time constraints.

Although there's plenty to do I thought some of the attraction looked a little tired for the entry price. But overall, I think it was worth the cost for the entertainment (purely because we didn't have enough time to do everything).

I think we would come here again in the future.

Vital Stats:
Cost - Adult £9.85 Child (3-17) £7.85 Under 3s Free. Season and Family Tickets available
Open - Feb 11th 2012 - November 4th 2012 10am-5pm (daily from March 16th)
Address - Sandy Bay, Westdown Lane, Littleham, Exmouth, EX8 5BU

We visited on a Thursday during term-time.

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Pregnant and breastfeeding

So - I'm 32 weeks pregnant and 'still' breastfeeding my 21 month old daughter.

How did that happen?

I'm not sure really.

When I had E, I planned to breastfeed for 6 months...because I thought it was the 'done thing' (thanks to all the formula advertising perpetuating that particular myth). We ended up breastfeeding until just shy of his first birthday. At this point, he was only feeding once or twice a day and after a long weekend away, during which he quite happily had cow's milk in the morning and at bedtime, we kind of just stopped. It was stress-free for both of us.

This time round, B was nowhere near stopping at a year, so we carried on. I was lucky enough to catch first time and got pregnant when she was around 14 months. I read up on breastfeeding while pregnant and assumed that she would self-wean as my supply changed and dropped through the pregnancy.

Indeed, during the second trimester she would go for a couple of days and at one point 10 days without wanting to feed, so I figured we'd ended our breastfeeding relationship in a smooth and lovely way. But then, she got slapped cheek disease and was unwell for a couple of weeks. The feeds picked up again and now we're still feeding more than ever.

I think now I'm past 30 weeks the colostrum is now in and she's thoroughly enjoying the taste as well as the comfort breastfeeding provides.

I've been very lucky - lots of pregnant women face issues such as nipple sensitivity, soreness and nursing aversion. I've not really had to deal with any of that. In fact, the only issues I'm facing are those of people around me. Comments like 'she's only doing it for comfort' and 'you'll have to stop that soon' and 'she's getting too old, she doesn't need it anymore' are quite frankly, unhelpful.

At 21 months, she obviously still does need the comfort it provides and I'm still helping her developing immune system.

Other comments, such as 'you'll run yourself into the ground' and 'you're just being a martry' are also unhelpful. Yes, I'm tired, but no more so than any other woman in their 3rd trimester.

I'm now preparing myself for tandem nursing. Yes, it will be hard work. But why will it be more hard work than forcing a child to wean when she's not ready. And, given that little B has already shown signs that she might be jealous of a new arrival, I'll be glad to have an extra weapon in my armoury to show I can still offer her the comfort and nutrition she requires.

Apparently, tandem nursing can help reduce sibling rivalry.

It's going to be a tough, but ultimately rewarding journey. And I'm actually quite looking forward to all the snuggles I'll be getting.
B still gets a lot of comfort from breastfeeding and it's great for getting an overtired toddler to drop off

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Breastfeeding Peer Support Training

Breastfeeding is very important to me. I have breastfed all my children (I still am feeding 18 month old Little B) and I plan on breastfeeding my next (due end of June).

So when our local SureStart recently offered the chance for local mums to train as breastfeeding peer supporters, I jumped at the chance.

The eight week course is being run via the Open College Network  by Healthy Babies.

We started last week with most of the session being taken up by a discussion of our own experiences. Some of the other mothers' journeys were very emotional and I was humbled and enlightened by their journeys.

I have been very luck not to have experienced many problems with breastfeeding and it astounds me how much some women go through to achieve their dream of breastfeeding their baby. It was also easy to see why so many women give up.

Little B's first feed less than an hour after birth.

Our homework from the session was to outline our reasons for wanting to be a peer supporter and what we hoped to achieve by the end of the training.

In short, my reasons were to dispel so much of the misinformation about breastfeeding that's out there and to provide the correct information and support for women to make feeding choices that are right for them, their babies and their circumstances, whether at newborn or extended feeding stage. I also hope to gain the skills to deal sensitively with a variety of issues and to offer support without appearing too judgemental (many breastfeeding advocates are already labelled as the breastfeeding police and worse).

I'm really looking forward to completing the rest of the course and I will no doubt be sharing some of the information I learn and my personal insights through the coming weeks.

I've not actually posted on this blog for a while as I have been studying hard for my CIM Professional Diploma in Marketing. I am pleased to say that I have now completed the course and I will find out in May whether or not I passed my final assignment. This course should be a little easier (it's GCSE level rather than post-degree) so I anticipate having more time to spend blogging and sharing my experiences.

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Pregnant for a third time - getting to grips with it.

Wow - it's been a while since I last blogged. I held off for a while because I found out I was pregnant and I was worried that I might let slip before the magic 12 weeks. In fact, I had to wait until last week, when I hit 16 weeks before I could 'go public' as I felt the need to inform my boss in person rather than him find out via social media.

So - this is my third child.

For some reason, and it may be that it's taken until last week for me to go public - but it still doesn't really seem real and it hasn't really sunk in yet - time just seems to be flying. I'm 17 weeks today.

It may also be that I don't have time to think about it as I'm so busy with work and looking after Little E and Little B.

It may also be that we weren't really expecting to fall pregnant so quickly. I never even had a period after being pregnant with Little B. We are still breastfeeding (another blog on that and the prospect of tandem feeding to come), so to catch the first egg was a complete surprise.

Another reason for not yet getting to grips with this pregnancy is that I feel so well. I'm one of those lucky people who don't get morning sickness. The only symptoms I had were extreme fatigue in the first trimester, and even that has worn off now.

I'm sure as my bump begins to emerge and I start actually feeling the new life inside me, I'll start to bond with the addition to our family. It's due on 28th June, but based on my previous two, probably won't make an appearance until early July.